Alone No More
by Diggingupophelia
Summary: WIP Rated R for later chapters, but it is really just to be on the safe side. Hermione and Severus figure out that they need each other to overcome the obstacles placed in their way due to the fall of Voldemort.HGSS
1. Vanishing Emptiness

A/N: While I have written a few fan fictions, this is my first HG/SS fiction. I want to thank all of the wonderful authors at this site who made the pairing come across as anything but squicky! So here goes my first shot at this. I hope you enjoy. Any feed back you could provide would be helpful in my endeavor. I HAVE EDITED HOPEFULLY IT IS EASIER TO READ. I THINK I CORRECTED ALL OF THE MISSING PUNCTUATION AND RUN ON SENTENCES, BUT IF I DIDN'T LET ME KNOW! THANKS FOR READING.

My future seems like one big past slipknot (duality)

Most evenings, Severus Snape sat alone in his dungeon home. There was nothing to comfort him save the crackling embers of the fire and his own rambling thoughts. He sat alone shrouded in the darkness that had been his life since he was old enough to understand his heart would never be given the gift of love. He understood, however, that love would lead him to the light that everyone else so freely enjoyed. All his attempts to escape the darkness had been marred by his overwhelming desire to loathe himself. Even now when he was free of his loyalties to the Dark and the Light he would still not free himself from his self imposed prison; one that used to be necessary for survival. But those who ruined the lives of innocents do not deserve to walk in the light. i No one could love me. There is nothing to love. I have raped, killed, tortured, and maimed all for the good of the cause. The bloody cause cost me my life. I have destroyed too much to deserve something so common. /i 

Severus forced himself to live in his dungeon, secluding himself from everything and everyone when Albus did not expressly demand his presence. Albus knew he refused to leave the dungeon of his own accord so he ordered Severus to walk amongst the living at least three times a day, much to Severus' heated protests to the contrary. Severus hated being forced to attend meals in the Great Hall, with good reason: everywhere he looked love was staring him square in the eyes.

Severus was sitting in his usual place at the Head Table blatantly ignoring his colleagues and mashing his food to bits. Albus was trying to engage Severus in conversation about the article that he had recently published in i Ars Alchemica /i , but Severus would have none of it. He grunted at the appropriate times, nodding his head occasionally, only looking up from his plate to scowl at Harry Bloody Potter, The-Man-Who-Saved-The-World-With-All-Kinds-Of-Help-And-Took-All-The-Bloody-Credit. However, that was not why Severus was scowling at Harry. Severus was scowling because that insipid twit got to have that Weasley chit hanging off of his every word and any appendage she could get her hands on, while Severus got to sit at the High Table with most of the people joining him moving as far away from him as possible. It was as though he were a leper of some sort. Severus just hated to admit that Harry Potter deserved to be happy.

Severus forced himself to draw his eyes away from Harry and he scanned the rest of Gryffindor table, so many young faces were missing, but the ones that remained were paired off; the couples rushing to capture what ever happiness life had in store for them after the horror had gone not even two months ago. His eyes danced across the table in order to glean more images to torment himself with, and then his eyes landed on the one person sitting alone at the table. She was off to the side with only her plate for company; she had no meddling old man to try to draw her out. Severus had watched her fall into herself more and more since the weeks before the final battle when she was informed that the Death Eaters killed her parents and that he was there. Hermione Granger was no longer the same annoying know it all he had come to know and secretly admire. No. She was bordering on empty. Severus could see that. His eyes lingered there for a moment longer and a strange sensation came into his chest.

Before he knew what he was doing, Severus walked over to the Gryffindor table; silence washed over the Great Hall as he approached Hermione and placed a hand on her shoulder. He bent down and whispered in her ear, "Ms. Granger, a word in my chambers after dinner." Then, with a swish of his robes, made a grand exit from the Great Hall. He didn't give Hermione a second to dispute him or try to find a way out of this meeting. Severus did not need to turn around to see that damned infernal twinkle in Alubs' eye to know that he was playing into some sort of grand plan; but he didn't care. At that moment Severus Snape decided he might have found a reason to escape from his own prison.

Severus took his usual seat in front of the fire and waited for the knock at the door. Five minutes after dinner had ended in the Great Hall the knock came. He quickly closed off the Floo to his room before moving across the room to answer the door.

"Hello Ms. Granger. Please come in," he said as he pulled the door open for her to pass. He tried to maintain an indifferent tone, but his concern was apparent in his voice. This caused Hermione to look him straight in the eyes; it was the first time she had done so since she found out her parents had been killed.

"Hello Professor Snape," she said as she walked past him and made her way into his chambers. She didn't sit down right away. Instead she made her way around the room looking for something. Severus didn't say a word. He just watched her look around, her hands gliding across the shining surfaces of the mahogany furniture that decorated the room or the ancient tomes that lined the bookshelves. He was only mildly surprised when she stopped in front of the liquor cabinet and poured herself a shot of firewhiskey, "You don't mind do you Professor?" she asked as she slammed the shot back. "If we are going to discuss my parents I am going to need something to take the edge off."

"It is customary to wait for a response to the question before following through with the action, but no I don't mind. Would you mind pouring me a drink as well, since you are in the area?" He again tried to sound coolly detached from the situation, but again he couldn't force himself to feign indifference where she was concerned.

" I don't blame you Severus," Hermione said quietly as she poured two more shots of the vile liquid into crystal shot glasses.

" Are we on a first name basis now?"

"Seeing as you were there to witness my family decimated and stood by my side during battle, I think we can be on a first name basis. Besides, you are no longer my Professor, the school year officially ended five minutes ago." She replied sarcastically.

"Very well, Hermione," he paused, "what do you mean you don't blame me?"

"There was nothing you could do to stop it from happening. I knew the risks and I am the one who chose to keep them blissfully ignorant of the happenings of the wizarding world for fear of being forced to leave. So I am the one who is responsible for their deaths. I accept responsibility for that and Draco Malfoy's current situation, I was the cause that as well."

"I will find a way to reverse that. He will not be rooming with Gilderoy Lockheart much longer. We can reverse the effects of Cruciatus. That is why I asked you here. I want you to stay here and help me research."

"What about University?"

"Professor Dumbledore took the liberty of contacting the University and asking if they would accept your work with me for credit. They went so far as to say if you are instrumental in the discovery of a cure then your Mistress titles in any subject used in the cure would be yours."

Hermione's heart leapt at the chance. She wasn't really all that enthusiastic about leaving the only home she had left. And then she would be working with Severus Snape. He may have forgotten how close they had become during the time leading up to just after the final battle; however, she hadn't. He must have thought that she despised him for what happened with her parents; but she didn't. But she knew he must hate her for what she did to Draco. After all he was the closest person Severus had to a family member. "I will do it, but only if you promise to stop ignoring me like you have been for the past two months. I can't suffer through this alone anymore."

"What about Potter and Weasley?" Severus asked with a mild trace of surprise in his voice. He would have thought that those two would have at least had the common decency to ensure that the key member of their Dream Team was emotionally provided for, but then again what could he expect from two dunderheads?

"I can't trouble them. They are happy, and Harry is the only one who would really understand. I cannot make myself go to him, he is too happy now."

"Silly girl, you matter too!" He nearly shouted at her.

"So do you Severus." Her voice was barely a whisper, but there was conviction in her voice none the less.

Severus didn't say a word. He just sat there and stared at her in silence finally remembering the glass of liquid relaxation in his hand and slammed back the firewhiskey savoring the brining sensation in his esophagus. She was right. He wanted to release himself from the darkness but he was terrified about what would happen once he stepped into the light. While he was lost in thought he didn't notice Hermione walking up to him and lowering herself on to the wide arm of his favorite black leather chair. He didn't notice her lean in and inhale his aroma, musk and something she couldn't recognize. He only noticed her when her rose petal soft lips pressed against the smooth pale flesh of his forehead and her nimble fingers brushed a stray silky strand from his onyx eyes. "We are in this together Severus." It was all she whispered before she got up and left his chambers to spend her last night in the Head Girl room situated outside of Gryffindor tower. Severus found himself alone with only the embers of the fire to keep him company and thoroughly and utterly confused. This was going to be a long apprenticeship.

A/N: Ok let me know what you think, please constructive criticism only, I want to improve my writing so any feedback will help. Thanks for taking the time to read.


	2. The Revel Revealed

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews and encouragement. A little feedback goes a long way… I am going to try to update as often as possible, but since my muse is active, I might as well take advantage of it.

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Hermione wrapped herself in the warmth of her familiar bed for the last time. She drew the curtains around the bed and pulled the blankets around herself. It never ceased to amaze her that no matter how warm it seemed to be outside that the castle was freezing at all points during the year. Hermione tried to fall asleep, but no matter how much she wanted it, sleep would not come. All Hermione could think about was her conversation with Severus, and what brought about their strange relationship in the first place.

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)-----;----- THREE WEEKS BEFORE THE FINAL BATTLE -------;-----(

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Hermione was sitting in the Room of Requirement with Ron and Harry; they were strategizing and going over the spells that Hermione had devised to aid the Order in battle and specifically the spell that would help Harry defeat Voldemort. The three were waiting for the key members of the DA to come for the regular meeting; instead Snape walked into the room silently. He was so silent that the Trio didn't notice him until Hermione gave a startled gasp when he touched her shoulder to get her attention.

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"Calm down, Ms.Granger." snapped Severus, "Professor Dumbledore would like a word." Harry and Ron stood up as Hermione did. Severus glared at the two young men, "Neither of you are Ms. Granger, therefore, you will remain here. She will return when she has finished her business with the Headmaster," he then turned to Hermione, "come along Ms. Granger, we can't keep the Headmaster waiting for you all night, he has important business to attend to." Severus grabbed Hermione by the arm and led her to the Headmaster's office.

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"Licorice Wand!" Called both Hermione and Severus at the same time, sending the Gargoyle aside and revealing the stairs that would lead them both the Dumbledore's office.

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"After you Ms.Granger." Hermione walked up the stairs to be greeted by Professor Dumbledore . Hermione instantly knew upon entering the office that no news delivered during this meeting would be able to be classified as 'good'. Hermione took the seat offered to her by Severus and braced herself for the worst.

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"Sorry to have disrupted your meeting tonight, Ms. Granger, but we have some unfortunate news to deliver to you," began Dumbledore, the usual twinkle gone from his eyes, "would you like some tea?" Hermione shook her head.

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"Professor, what happened to my parents?"

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Dumbledore remained silent, and looked over to Severus. "You can't expect me to tell her Albus," he paused and crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn't bring himself to look Hermione in the eye. And then there was that infernal twinkling coming from those blasted blue eyes, encouraging as ever, "Oh, all right old man you win, but, I will not be responsible for any nervous breakdowns or mental illnesses that result from the fact that I am the one to explain circumstances to her."

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"Consider yourself absolved of all responsibility Severus," said Albus sternly, "I shall leave you two alone then. It seems you have important things to discuss."

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Dumbledore left the pair alone in silence, a very loud silence that overpowered their senses and created a tension that was palpable, if only one of them would move to feel the air around them. Deep down Hermione knew what Severus was going to tell her, and in the instant before he spoke to tell her she had already forgiven him for whatever part he had played in whatever tragedy would change her life from the next moment on.

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"Ms. Granger."

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"At least call me Hermione if you are about to tell me my parents are dead or worse, like the Longbottoms." she whispered.

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"Hermione, I am so sorry, your mother and father are in fact dead." he spoke those words in a voice that was just above a whisper and was dripping with compassion. Severus moved behind Hermione's chair and placed a hand on her shoulder. He wasn't sure why he did it or what drove him to it, but he allowed himself to feel something for this girl and she had somehow made his heart feel something other than icy hate.

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"What happened?" Hermione was willing herself not to cry in front of Severus. No matter how she felt about this man, she would not allow him the satisfaction of seeing her broken. She would not appear weak in front of him above all people.

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There was silence for a few moments, then, Severus pulled a chair from the corner and sat in front of Hermione. The least he could do was look into her eyes as he recounted his tale. He sighed heavily and felt the weight of the moment press down on his body, especially his heart, and he wasn't sure that the least used muscle in his body could handle it. "There was a revel tonight and the Dark Lord was in the mood for fresh entertainment, which Lucius Malfoy graciously provided for him." He paused, and Hermione unconsciously reached forward to pull his hands into her own, suddenly she realized where her hands were and pulled away from him, mumbling an apology.

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Severus allowed his own snarkiness to come through, "Are you quite through Ms. Granger?" immediately he regretted taking that snappish tone with her, but said nothing. Instead he reached for her hands and continued. "Lucius brought your parents to the revel, alive and under Imperious." Severus could see that her eyes were growing glassy, and wasn't sure that he could continue. Hermione squeezed his hands.

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"Don't leave out a single detail Professor Snape. I want to know everything so I can pay for my sins. I want to suffer through it all, it is my fault…"

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"This isn't your fault…" Hermione cut him off.

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"Professor, can you show me what happened?"

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"No. Albus made me promise that I would not. It is not the time."

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"I understand. Please continue."

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"Your parents were lead in by Lucius and offered to the Dark Lord in hopes of receiving a reward. The Dark Lord was thrilled, once he realized just whose parents he had in front of him. He started the 'entertainment' by placing them under multiple rounds of the Cruciatus, one after the other. Your mother was brave; it took two rounds of the curse before she would scream out from the pain. There are few who last that long. After The Dark Lord tired of her screaming he gave your mother to me as a reward for my loyal and faithful service. I was ordered to rape and torture her while the others busied themselves torturing your father, it was meant to be a reward for my loyal service," the disdain dripped from his tongue, "I took your mother to a dark corner of the room, removed the Imperious curse from her and I asked her what she wanted. She told me she wanted you to be safe and then she asked me to take her life; somehow she knew she could trust me. Before I cast the killing curse she handed me this." Severus pulled from the pocket of his frock coat her mother's engagement ring. "I didn't touch her Hermione, she died with her dignity and thinking only of you. Her last words were of her love for you." Severus was jealous of this, his mother's last words to him were full of hate and disgust; he did not know what it was like to have someone love him unconditionally as Hermione's mother had obviously loved her. Severus did not tell her of his promise to her mother to protect her as much as his abilities allowed, but he would keep that promise.

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"Thank you Professor."

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"Are you mad? I have killed your mother and you thank me?" Severus was shocked! Whatever reaction he was expecting to get from Hermione this was not it. He expected her to hit him, or fall writing hysterically on the floor. But she thanked him; she actually saw some semblance of humanity in what he did. Severus was astonished with her fortitude and wisdom.

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"You allowed her to die with dignity, with out the horrors of the unspeakable things I know they would have done to her."

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"Hermione, I regret to inform you that I was not able to do the same for your father. He was a…plaything…for Lucius' …indulgences, shall we say?"

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"Did he suffer much?"

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"Lucius did not allow him to pass easily, I am afraid."

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"It was a stupid question."

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"Hermione, your father died bravely. He did not die with fear, but he did not know peace in his final hours either."

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"I forgive you Severus and I thank you." Hermione squeezed his hands in hers as she uttered those words. She forced herself to stand up on her weak legs and slowly made her way to the exit. She wanted nothing more than to return to her rooms where she could release her emotions. She was still determined to show no weakness in front of Severus. Hermione told no one, not even Ron or Harry, about the fate her parents had met until after the final battle.

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In the week before the battle she found herself sitting in Severus' office well into the night while he tried to force her to face her emotions so she didn't end up cold and hard like him and while she forced herself to build a wall around her emotions to keep him from thinking her weak.

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The reality of the events of that night came crashing into her as she lie in bed waiting for sleep to come and reliever her of her misery for a few hours. All of those emotions, which she had kept hidden from Severus in those first few weeks, came flooding out in a torrent of wild tears. The crying made her tired and finally she was safely coddled in the warm arms of sleep and in her dreams there were no terrifying revelations to deal with. There were only strong arms wrapped around her infusing her with the strength she would need to work her way through the healing process.

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A/N: Please leave me some feed back. We will find out what happened to Draco in the next chapter plus we will get to see Severus' point of view. Lemons will come, but not for a few chapters….any suggestions are appreciated (wink-wink-nudge-nudge)….


	3. Obliviation

A/N: I want to thank all the people who took the time to review. I know this chapter is short but it is needed to pull the plot along. This is only the beginning of what happened to Draco…we will be meeting him in the near future. Let me know what you think….

Chapter 3

Severus was pacing in his quarters. She kissed him! Even though it wasn't romantic per se, he definitely felt some kind of chemistry between the two of them. He had been so busy trying to push her away that he missed something as grand as this…could Hermione possibly feel something for him? _No, no the girl didn't know what she was thinking. She was distraught and he was only trying to help her deal with her loss and he guilt_. He hadn't intended to make her care for him.

Severus thought back on all of the things that made Hermione into the person she had become in the months following the battle. Severus thought back on the moment that he was sure had broken her; it was the moment when she had to destroy Draco in order to save him. Months before the final battle, Draco had come to Severus looking for way to stay away from Voldemort's insanity. Severus brought him to the Headmaster and Draco began to spy along side Severus for the Light. In the end his own personal issues overcame him and now he was nothing more than the shell of the young man he was.

Severus never answered Voldemort's call; instead he escorted the Golden Trio in their quest to face Voldemort. As the four marched toward their target they came across a most disturbing scene. Draco was standing over the shaking body of his father casting the Cruciatus, imploring him to beg for mercy. Hermione made her way towards the pair while the others stayed back at her request.

"Well now, Lucius, how does it feel now that the shoe is on the other foot?" Draco did not lower his wand or falter in the administration of the curse. As they approached, Severus could feel the hate pulsing from Draco in waves. Draco lowered his wand and laughed as his father continued to writhe on the ground, he raised his wand again, "Avad…" Before Draco could finish the incantation that would end his father's life, Hermione had his wand in her hand. She ran up to him placing a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm him.

"Draco!" she called, "This is not the way you should handle your father."

"And why not? He has ruined my life and I want to take his to make my life whole again."

"Killing him will not make your life whole, it will ruin you and eat you alive. You are not like him Draco. This is something he would do…"

"Ah, so the Mudblood is right Draco." Lucius raised his wand to Draco, but Hermione was quicker, "AVADA KEDAVRA" and Lucius Malfoy fell dead to the ground. Draco fell to his knees and began to sob. Then without warning, Draco lunged at her. Draco wanted to kill her for killing his father, for robbing him of his right. Hermione did the first thing that came to mind, she pushed herself to her feet pointed her wand at Draco and yelled, "Crucio!" Draco fell to the floor writing beneath the power of her spell. Everyone in the party was too shocked to do anything but look on at the scene before them. Before anyone had the presence of mind to call Hermione's wand into his hand Draco had been under the curse for near ten minutes. And from what Severus could tell it was very strong.

Hermione raised her wand to Draco, "Obliviate!" Hermione had only meant to save him from the final torment of his father. However, she underestimated her own power and Draco was left with no sense of who he was…she stunned him to keep him from hurting himself and prayed none of the Death Eaters would find him before they could return to collect him. Hermione ran towards Voldemort while looking back towards Draco; never once in those final moments of battle did she forget Draco; guilt beginning to over take her, as she truly understood the ramifications of what she had done.

Severus watched Hermione as she transferred her love to Potter; looking in her heart to bring about the strength of his own, so he could win the battle. Severus watched as she fell to her knees while she was being drained of every happy emotion she had ever had. He kept his wand raised and ready to protect the three of them and wished he could contribute something to the group; but try as he might the only memories that filled his heart were dark and beyond the normal boundaries of sad. Severus contented himself playing bodyguard and watched as the golden light of love enveloped Voldemort instantly turning him to ash. Then he ran forward, arms extended, just in time to catch Hermione before her head pummeled into the hard ground. Potter and Weasley were still standing, trembling, but conscious and standing.

"Weasley! Take Malfoy to Hogwarts." He barked, then, turned towards Harry, "Potter! Help me get her back to Hogwarts. She is breathing, but I…"

Harry lost all composure at that point and fell to the ground, tears spilling on his friend's unconscious form, while the weight of the world slowly lifted from his shoulders only to be replaced with the guilt of Hermione's state. Severus watched the scene before him, a new appreciation for all Harry had endured growing somewhere deep inside him, it didn't mean he still couldn't have cared less if the little brat didn't vanish from the face of the earth tomorrow, but still he could appreciate his plight. Severus also had an epiphany of sorts at that moment, he realized that had he fallen, no one would cry over him, no one would burden themselves with guilt over his predicament. With that realization came the understanding that he could not allow himself to be close to Hermione. He had nothing to offer her. He was an empty man with a past void of anything worthy of her and to him the past could only ensure that his future would be as empty as everything else in his life. Severus stood up, gently placing Hermione's head on the ground and stood up, fixing his gaze on Potter, "Get her to Hogwarts!" With that he stalked off into the darkness that was so familiar to him only emerging when Albus demanded.

Severus was not there when Hermione woke up, but he knew what kind of torment the girl, no woman, had to endure. He thought about her often since that night, but until that moment in the Great Hall he could not bring himself to go near her. He couldn't understand why, however. The two had built up a working relationship in the weeks before the final battle as they brewed the massive amounts of medicinal potions that would undoubtedly be needed in the after math of the battle. Then in the final week before the battle they had grown close, sharing the loss of her parents. He answered all of her questions and discussed anything she wished all in the name of keeping her sane. All the while he was doing this he kept telling himself he was only keeping a weapon ready for battle never admitting to himself he felt something else for the girl.

Now he sat in front of his fire, the warmth of Hermione's kiss still upon his brow. The kiss, however delicate its administration had been, however small the gesture may have seemed to her, had warmed his entire body. She had shown him something no one else had ever taken the time to show him before; he was worth something. One kiss on the forehead and it became clear to him for the first time that his future did not at all seem like his sordid past. There was a glimmer of hope that his future would be happy; the glimmer was Hermione.

Please review, your feedback keeps me going!


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